Oct 18, 2017
I am not weighing in this week, my scale shows a slight gain but I feel bloated and tired and jet lagged and gross and I do not want the scale to overshadow the success I feel at navigating 24 hour restaurants and all the walking I did so I will use this week to reset my body to yogurt/fruit/fresh vegetables and my beloved steeped tea and will weigh in next week at my normal day :)
I'm catching up on all your blogs :) I missed you!
Oct 12, 2017
Are you freaking kidding me??!!!
This is not my regular weigh in day but is a week after my last one. The next one will go back to my regular Friday or Saturday.
I am off to Vegas tonight!!!!!
What a week it has been!
I left for Rochester last Thursday afternoon and came home Saturday evening. It was an awesome few days away and I came back feeling mentally recharged. Unfortunately it rained both days but we did get a 12km walk along a boardwalk and pier in between the rain on Friday. Saturday it was just too wet (for our sensibilties!) and I was also having issues with my hip so we mall walked and shopped :)
I went with a friend who recently had WLS so it was easy to stick to a healthy eating plan because she didn't want to do restaurants and I didn't NEED to eat at restaurants to have a good time. We actually ended up eating breakfast from the hotel buffet (boiled eggs and coffee for me) and lunch was just out and about (protein bar and an apple) and dinner picked up Boston Market takeout where I could have early Thanksgiving dinner without having to cook it (turkey breast, stuffing, green beans). Yep, I splurged on the stuffing! It was worth it, even though it was probably just Stove Top.
We got home early Saturday evening and I pretty much crashed. Sunday morning I rushed to make my homemade stuffing to take to our Thanksgiving dinner at my son Iain's and pick up some groceries before heading to Toronto for the afternoon. Sunday was also my wedding anniversary so I was a bit down and teary when I first woke up but then the busy-ness of the day took over. It was a long day though and Monday I pretty much just watched Netflix and read my new book and did NOTHING.
Back to work on Tuesday and my desk was a disaster. I was determined not to stress though and just sorted through the piles, made lists and prioritized. I only had 2 1/2 days, so clearly, some stuff would have to wait. Normally I stress and go mad trying to catch up, this time I just let it be.
Tuesday night I got out for an hour hike before it got dark. Evening walks/hikes are going to ending very soon, it's dark by 7 p.m. now and the trails are just too dark. Even the moonlight doesn't penetrate the trees enough . I do have hiking lamps but I am not sure how safe it is, last year there was a series of assaults on the trails so I don't feel too confident and it's very isolated and with little visibility beyond the trail into the trees. My YMCA membership starts up again in a few weeks though so it will be back to the treadmill most evenings.
Well I have to go pack for Vegas! Talk to you next week!
Some photos from our 12km walk through Turning Point Park in Rochester.
Oct 5, 2017
Oct 2, 2017
How did this week go? I am still not 'in the game' but this week I was more conscious of the little things I had let slip over the last few months that add up to big things - drinking less water, not walking for my minimum 30 min every day, less sleep, not pre-tracking/pre-planning meals, not having fruit or a protein bar with me all the time......alone each one is not a big deal but for sure, all of those things together were contributing. I am a big believer in small changes adding up to big results and although I believe it, I think I stopped practising it.
So I made all these changes and saw success and over time, I have unmade those changes so it's time to make them again, just like I did last time - one by one.
I just feel....TIRED and I am not sure why. I don't mean physically tired (although there is that too) - I am not sure what I mean. Thanksgiving is coming up which coincides with my wedding anniversary and this year would have been 29 years. It's hard. And I turn 50 this year, maybe it's a mid-life crisis.
October is usually my favourite month (Thanksgiving/Wedding Anniversary/Birthday) but this year I am just dreading it and I have made so many plans!
October 5-6-7 I am going to Rochester, NY with a friend for a hiking/shopping/spa trip, October 12-16 I am off to Las Vegas for the first time as part of my birthday gift to myself and then the 30th is my birthday so the weekend before that I will probably do something special with my sons.
Hopefully I can snap out of this funk somewhere south of 200 lbs. Maybe I will hit the jackpot in Vegas or find a Sugar Daddy. Maybe pigs will fly :)
Then the first weekend of November I have a conference at Niagara Falls.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.
Sep 25, 2017
There's no choice but to keep going.
I missed last week's weigh in because of work obligations and I have not been to a meeting in several weeks. That needs to change. I need to get to a meeting once a week - it's one hour of my life so I need to make that work.
I am not feeling out of control but I am feeling like I have stopped making WW and weight loss a priorty. It has to be the number 1 priority because it affects so many other things; my mood, my health (which in itself is a long list!), my energy, my sleep, my ability to juggle all the other priorities without going batshit crazy.
I didn't have my book with me this week, so they just updated my file electronically. Saturday's weight was 191.2.
Looking at this, it feels a bit like the last 6 months have been a complete waste. I'm having internal dialogues that are not kind so I need to step back and step up.
Sep 8, 2017
Sep 2, 2017
Aug 30, 2017
I missed my weigh in last week because of an emergency Friday morning and then Saturday morning I had a race in another city. The centres are only open until noon both days so I couldn't even settle for an evening weigh in. My home scale never jives with the WW one consistently so I can't even guesstimate. Sometimes mine is dead on, sometimes , its more than the WW sometimes it's way less. I can confidently say I've probably gained a few pounds but I am not expecting a huge gain.
As well, the last two weeks have been difficult to keep to any kind of schedule with hanging around hospitals for various people, medical appointments, and work commitments. It has just been overwhelming and I have been trying to tread water.
On top of that, I woke up with a sore throat/head cold yesterday and today will be a long day of meetings until 8 p.m. Tomorrow night I have a visitation to go to and Friday morning a funeral, then I have a major proposal due on Tuesday morning (Monday is a holiday here) but my sister (hopefully) flies home on Tuesday (another long, drama filled story!) and I need to help her get to the airport with luggage and a newborn.
I am waiting for the drama in my life to subside.
In the meantime, weight watchers has not fallen by the way side, I am still tracking every day even when those days are 50 + points because of hospital food or just not caring and grabbing a sub with a bag of chips. I have not had a lot of time for walking other than the 5k race last weekend.
One day at a time.
One day at a time.
One day at a time.
It is great to see some of my followers doing so well - you inspire me!!
Because I've had lots of empty time on my hands (i.e. sitting around hospitals and waiting), I have been reading The Obesity Code and just started "The Complete Guide to Fasting". It's a very interesting concept and I agree with a lot of Dr. Fung's research. As someone with Type II diabetes I have always been told to eat every 3-4 hours...don't let myself get hungry!
When I do that, I am ALWAYS FREAKING HUNGRY. When I stick to three meals a day spaced out by at least 5 hours, I actually eat less and feel hungry only about half hour before the next meal is due. Before I saw a nutritionist for diabetes, I never, ever ate breakfast. My first meal was always 12-1 pm and I never, ever ate past 8 p.m. What I was doing wrong was following bad diet advice from the early 90's which was high carb/low fat so I put myself into Type II diabetes, exacerbated by PCOS which already had my insulin levels out of whack. When I read The Obesity Code it was like a million light bulbs going off in my head. Seriously. I feel like I have done everything wrong for the past 20 years.
I am not saying I'm going to jump into fasting. What I'm doing now (three meals, spaced out) is still working (when I follow a sensible program!). It may be something to consider if I find I am truly stalled.
Thanks for reading this far. I'll be back at the weekend with my weigh in!
Aug 17, 2017
Another week in the books and getting closer to that 52 lbs in 52 weeks goal. Or not, based on this week's weigh in. This is the first time (since starting last September)that I am disappointed with the results at the scale. I felt like I had a great week. I did weigh in a day early because I am out of town tomorrow and Saturday morning but I don't think that would have made a difference.
I did get my sunglasses charm which cheered me up a little and my shadow in the centre window (while I was waiting for it to open)made me feel smaller and seemed to be cheering me on for getting out and walking so much this week.
So..keeping on and keeping at it!
I don't have much to say this week, so I've posted more photos to entertain you :)
This felt like an extra long week. I think after the busy-ness of the previous few weeks, a calmer week felt like it was dragging. I did get a lot done at work though which was awesome as I was so far behind on my regular job because of special/extra assignments.
My shadow has been dragging me out walking this week - I have just been so tired that I've had to be dragged out the door! Never regret it though :)
A photo of me with both my nephews. I won't see them both again for at least 6 months so I have been soaking up every possible moment with them.
I finally got my Canada Day medal from the Canada Day (July 1) race when they ran out of medals due to all the late registrations. I do love bling :)
Aug 11, 2017
Although I ate away from home quite a few times this week, I felt like it was a solid week with no major issues in the food/exercise area. There is always room for improvement. The last few days people I see everyday (co-workers/family) have been commenting that I am melting to nothing. I am not sure why I look different because I have basically been maintaining through June/July. I did notice getting dressed this morning that whatever I tried on felt sloppy and I changed 3 or 4 times before I found something that looked ok enough for work. My size 14 pants can now be taken off and on without unzipping/unbuttoning (and only 1 or 2 size 12's fit well enough to wear in public!) so maybe all the hiking and increased walking is changing my body a shape a bit and the scale still needs to catch up.
It has been a busy week full of emotions.
The best is first! My third nephew (my sister's second son) was born healthy and a good size at 8 lbs 4 oz. Kalan Christopher suits him perfectly!
I spent two days with her older son, Kiron, while she was in the hospital so her husband could stay with them. I had forgotten how much work a 2 year old is! We had fun but I was glad of the break when he went home!!!
My youngest son (age 20) broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years so it's been a bit of a drama filled and over the top week in that area. I think he made the right decision but I know he is sad and she is definitely taking it very hard. I am sure they will both be fine, with some time and reflection.
I had 5 days off work - two days for the baby event, the weekend and then the Civic Holiday so it was a bit of shock to have to go back after that.
I attended (and walked around for a few hours) a local music festival (Festival of Friends) and felt really pretty in my rolled up jeans and white off the shoulder blouse. Of course, I promptly splashed bbq sauce all over it....you can dress me up but you can't take me anywhere!
The same day, I also went on a long hike at twilight with a friend and her dog and we had to leave the trail as it was getting too dark to see and take the long way around through the residential neighbourhood to get back to the car so that added about 3 km to our hike. I ended that day at over 23,000 steps!
I am trying to get 3-4 weeknight hikes in every week - about an 60-90 min each time. Partly to keep moving but also for my sanity right now with all the craziness in my life. Hiking in the woods is my happy place. I am so fortunate to live so close to the Bruce Trail and the Niagara Escarpment.
Aug 3, 2017
I weighed in a day early because I am away for a few days to meet my new nephew!
This week I really wanted to get back to my 1 lb/week average. Last week I was sitting slightly below it at 0.99/lbs per week. June and July were pretty much a bust and I felt like I was treading water.
I remember, years ago, complaining about how slowly I lost weight and my endocrinologist saying "In one year, 1 lb a week is 52 lbs".
So..that's kind of an unofficial goal I have in my head now for reaching my 1st year milestone on WW which will be my September 15th weigh in. This is the longest I have stuck with WW (or any plan) since I did WW the first time back in 1995. That translates to 7 weeks to lose 5.1 lbs. Let's see what happens!
I had to miss my Monday night meeting because of work this week and this coming Monday is a holiday and the WW centre will be closed so I've been experimenting with other meetings and leaders this week, but I am a creature of habit and really like the Monday night leader (he only does that one meeting). I know that going to the meeting really helps me stay focused, even though I weigh in on Friday or Saturday morning. If I weigh in on Saturday morning then I do stay for that meeting as well but it tends to be overly crowded and a few people dominate the meeting which is not really all that interesting!
I had a lovely day on Sunday at the zoo with my nephew (pictured below) and my sons and got in almost 15,000 steps in just 4 hours! It was very hot though and even with a hat and 60 SPF I still ended up with a sunburn.
I appreciate all your kind comments as I go through this craziness!
I never tire of this walk or the view! I am blessed it's practically on my doorstep.
Jul 28, 2017
Another week where I felt I did everything right but the scale (at home) was still bouncing between 184 and 187. At least it showed a loss today from last week but I am not confident it is a 'real' loss, you know?
There is no option but to keep plodding along and trying to change things up a bit to see if it makes a difference.
Jul 17, 2017
I am really enjoying the Monday night WW meetings and the leader, Jeff. This past week I asked for all my 'bling' to date and they gave it to me. Next will be my 50 lbs charm (I hope!).
I'm fitting into 14s in a regular store now and even can squeeze into 12s (for pants) and Ls for shirts so my arms, although ugly and bat-wingy are shrinking! I'm liking the idea of a weekly progress photo in different clothes so you will have to forgive (or get over!) my vanity! I was lucky to be gifted a lot of clothes through a clothing swap and my youngest son works at a thrift shop where he gets 50% of the "regular" prices so I can easily pick up things for $2-5 a piece. I also shopped some great sales in Buffalo a few weeks ago.
I haven't been under a size 14 since my early 20's so I'm not sure how long I'll be in this stage or if there will be a next stage or what it would even look like if there is. I've been walking every day and started an arm work out with 5lb weights, as well as plank and push ups and a kettlebell work out based on the classes I had taken. I am sure my form is not perfect but I haven't hurt myself and I figure moving is a good thing. I am also going up and down the stairs when I have to show condo units at work, sometimes up to 20 flights.
My motivation has returned since it's mysterious hiatus in June and I feel back in the groove and ready to tackle the world. Usually "life happening" as it has in the last few weeks would derail me and I would start the slow regain.
This time I have committed to myself that I am not regaining these same 50 lbs. One day at a time.
Constant vigilance and never losing sight of what's important.
It really does work.
Jul 15, 2017
I went to a meeting this past Monday at the WW Centre where I weigh in. Monday was the only free night I had this week. It was also the leader's first night, a gentleman named Jeff who had lost 185 lbs with WW. I really liked his style and he was very pumped up. I will check out a few different meetings next week and see which one settles on me as "home". I will continue to weigh in on Friday or Saturday mornings though. This week had highs and lows.
I spent a lot of time with my sister who is here from Dubai for a few months to have her second child in August. She's going through some issues and my heart is breaking for her. It was a very emotional week. There was, and continues to be, a lot of drama at work that made the days feel long and onerous. My son injured himself at work about six weeks ago which caused a hernia that has not healed on it's own and now we are waiting to see a surgeon.
In good news, we have amazing summer weather and I am getting a lot of walking in, especially on my lunches and breaks at work which is helping me with the insanity going on right now. I had a great week following my 'points' and eating well including a meal at a restaurant and one catered meal at work. I am feeling more like I am back in the groove and I can do this. The scale was still bouncing about between 184-187 all week at home but I'm using my WW weigh in as my official one going forward. Although the loss was minimal, I feel like I had a great week!
Jul 6, 2017
Today was my first weigh in at the meeting centre so totally different scale (definitely more accurate!) and fully dressed (in my lightest possible clothes!). It is a mind-f*ck to see a higher number than I am used to seeing but it's all relative. The difference from start to finish would be the same if I started on this scale. After this week it won't matter. I am planning to attend meetings on a week night but weigh in on Friday mornings when the centre opens at 7:30 a.m. I prefer a morning weigh in and I often have meetings on Thursday nights where we have dinner catered. This will help me be more mindful of portions and of the sodium content if I know I am weighing in the next day. Wish me luck!
I was really faltering for a few weeks. There was a 50% off promo for 6 months so it made sense to sign up now. The fee per month is about what I would spend on eating out twice a month (which I rarely do anymore) and this will get me through my hardest parts of the year - Summer/Fall (Thanksgiving and my birthday) and Christmas. My pass expires January 4, 2018 at which time I hope to have decided on a goal weight. I also suspended my YMCA membership until November because I would much rather be hiking and walking outside for the short time we have such nice weather. Cancelling the Y offsets the cost of my WW membership for 6 months so no change to my budget!
My sister is renting a condo with a pool and gym and so I can also use that if I find I am missing the treadmill or stairmill - as if!
Onward and downward :)
Jul 5, 2017
It was extra special because my sister is here from Dubai and is staying with us for a week so she was with us. She is 36 weeks pregnant so the heat outside was a bit overwhelming but she was set up nicely on chaise lounge under an umbrella and my sons were only too happy to keep refilling her glass with lemon and water and bring her whatever her heart (and stomach!) desired. They absolutely adore her. They grew up with her as sort of an older sister as she is 15 years younger than me and they are excited to have another baby cousin. She already has a 2 year old son.
Saturday morning I did a 5k race with another WW friend. When we arrived at the park to pick up our chips there was a long line at the registration desk. They had over 250 people register last minute. This was at a park that was also hosting a big Canada Day celebration all day and was right on the waterfront and with the special-ness of the day and the medals, I think it was reasonable to expect a huge turnout. As walkers, we crossed the finish line at about 58 minutes and found there were no medals left, due to the large late registrations of runners who crossed before us. This has never happened to me at any race before. It was very upsetting because the medals were commemorative for this year and because walkers deserve the same respect as runners. We pay the same fees to enter and for those of us that registered in advance it was a slap in the face to have our medals go to runners who registered last minute. I did email the event organizer as this organizer hosts many of the races I attend all year. She said she is trying to get more medals from the manufacturer as there were just under 100 of us who did not get medals and she was very nice about expressing how they were overwhelmed and unprepared by the last minute registrations and assured me that they have every respect for all participants. I know it's not a big thing, but it was important to me.
We skipped the fireworks this year as we were all over tired and just went home and watched Netflix and were in bed by 9:30 p.m.
We spent all day Sunday at Niagara Outlet Malls (Canada side) where my sister spent lots of money! She had a great time buying all the things that are 1000% more expensive in Dubai. I bought a few things as there were a lot of great sales. On Monday we made the trip across the border to Buffalo and went to Galleria Mall. Not so much shopping, although the sales were also good and the mall was deserted! With a 37% exchange rate right now, the deal has to be amazing! I did find a really awesome pair of brown sandals that I have been looking for / wanting for a few months at a really good price at Macey's so I bought those and picked up a few camisole type tops (to wear under cardigans/blazers) from WalMart. We had lunch at the Olive Garden. I had forgotten how heavy their food is!
I took yesterday (Tuesday) off just to take care of stuff around the apartment and run some personal errands (pedicure/manicure, groceries, laundry - urban domesticity at it's finest!) and am back to work today!
WW Canada has a 50% off deal right now and I think I am going to switch to meetings. I struggled in June to stay on track and am struggling this first week of July. I need to do whatever it takes to not falter.
P.S. The formatting of my blog is all effed up since the background was deleted.
Jun 30, 2017
I did get a new scale which is exactly the same model of my previous one. A friend gave it to me so it's not "new" but it works consistently :) So this is my first real gain since starting in September. I know June was a hard month.
I had a lot of meals out, less exercise and found it hard to stay motivated. Or it could just be a new scale! Either way, doesn't matter - it will all work itself out over the next few weeks and I will not let it discourage or derail me. This is going to be a life long journey of CONSTANT VIGILANCE (Hi Norma!) and a bad week here or there is not going to define that journey.
Many great things happened in June as well. I had my blood work done and everything is normal. Lipids, glucose, kidney/liver function - all well within normal ranges. My resting heart rate has come down from the high 60's to low 50's. I can wear size 14 and size 14 petite in most cases in just about any store. "Skinny" or "slim" styles don't fit cause of my butt and thighs but regular clothes fit and look great.
I've spent a lot of time the last week walking and hiking. Hiking in the woods is my happy place and both calms and excites me. I sleep better and deeper after a hike. I started Couch to 5K again but I am still not convinced I want to be a 'runner', it's just another form of exercise to change things up again and to improve my heart and lung stamina.
I've just posted a few pics below of what made me feel good through June.
Jun 15, 2017
I still cannot shake this cold/sore throat/sinus issue and I am wondering now if it's allergies as it's been over 6 weeks. I will try and get to my doctor next week.
I had an awesome time in Pennsylvania visiting my friends and we ate out every meal...which I knew we would. I started off making great choices, by the fourth day, not so great choices. I ate about a quarter of that giant sundae in the photo below. It was a place that hand churned the ice cream and it was whip cream made from cream from a local dairy and you know what? It tasted fantastic. I am not sure if it's because of those things or because it's been a long time since I ate something like that. But it was a treat and definitely one worth it!
The drive was glorious. Everything was SO green. It reminded me so much of where I used to live in England. I've only ever been in the Fall before.
The gym in the hotel was under renovations (which they failed to tell me when I called on Thursday to confirm they had a treadmill and a bike) - and unfortunately the friends I was visiting are not active at all and I didn't know the neighbourhood or feel safe enough to hit the trails on my own....plus I didn't want to take time away from my visit as they had planned a lot of activities for us.
We saw a local theatre production, went to a bunch of garage sales, saw Wonder Woman and did an Escape Room. In between, we ate! Not even joking a little bit. Despite the food overload, it was a great break from real life.
I weighed myself on Tuesday morning (my first morning back at home) and the scale said 172.6 lbs. I wish I had taken a picture of it! I put in a new battery and it still said 172.6 lbs. Then I moved it to another place (I have tape on the floor so it's always in the same spot) and it said 212 lbs. Now I am sure I gained weight while away. My weight on the Friday morning I left was 182.3 lbs so I know I didn't lose 10lbs and I know for sure I didn't gain 30.....so it's time for a new scale I think. This one has to be at least 10 years old, it was a $19.99 WW scale from Costco.
My clothes fit OK but I don't think I would notice a 3-5 lb gain in my clothes since most of them are fitting pretty loose. That's this weekend's mission - find a new scale. Any suggestions?
I go to the Diabetic Clinic at the end of June so I can check my new scale against the one there. There was always a 2 lb difference between my home scale and the one there. However, I am always fully dressed at the clinic and at home I weigh in naked or just in underwear so I was counting them as pretty much the same.