Aug 17, 2017
Another week in the books and getting closer to that 52 lbs in 52 weeks goal. Or not, based on this week's weigh in. This is the first time (since starting last September)that I am disappointed with the results at the scale. I felt like I had a great week. I did weigh in a day early because I am out of town tomorrow and Saturday morning but I don't think that would have made a difference.
I did get my sunglasses charm which cheered me up a little and my shadow in the centre window (while I was waiting for it to open)made me feel smaller and seemed to be cheering me on for getting out and walking so much this week.
So..keeping on and keeping at it!
I don't have much to say this week, so I've posted more photos to entertain you :)
This felt like an extra long week. I think after the busy-ness of the previous few weeks, a calmer week felt like it was dragging. I did get a lot done at work though which was awesome as I was so far behind on my regular job because of special/extra assignments.
My shadow has been dragging me out walking this week - I have just been so tired that I've had to be dragged out the door! Never regret it though :)
A photo of me with both my nephews. I won't see them both again for at least 6 months so I have been soaking up every possible moment with them.
I finally got my Canada Day medal from the Canada Day (July 1) race when they ran out of medals due to all the late registrations. I do love bling :)
Aug 11, 2017
Although I ate away from home quite a few times this week, I felt like it was a solid week with no major issues in the food/exercise area. There is always room for improvement. The last few days people I see everyday (co-workers/family) have been commenting that I am melting to nothing. I am not sure why I look different because I have basically been maintaining through June/July. I did notice getting dressed this morning that whatever I tried on felt sloppy and I changed 3 or 4 times before I found something that looked ok enough for work. My size 14 pants can now be taken off and on without unzipping/unbuttoning (and only 1 or 2 size 12's fit well enough to wear in public!) so maybe all the hiking and increased walking is changing my body a shape a bit and the scale still needs to catch up.
It has been a busy week full of emotions.
The best is first! My third nephew (my sister's second son) was born healthy and a good size at 8 lbs 4 oz. Kalan Christopher suits him perfectly!
I spent two days with her older son, Kiron, while she was in the hospital so her husband could stay with them. I had forgotten how much work a 2 year old is! We had fun but I was glad of the break when he went home!!!
My youngest son (age 20) broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years so it's been a bit of a drama filled and over the top week in that area. I think he made the right decision but I know he is sad and she is definitely taking it very hard. I am sure they will both be fine, with some time and reflection.
I had 5 days off work - two days for the baby event, the weekend and then the Civic Holiday so it was a bit of shock to have to go back after that.
I attended (and walked around for a few hours) a local music festival (Festival of Friends) and felt really pretty in my rolled up jeans and white off the shoulder blouse. Of course, I promptly splashed bbq sauce all over it....you can dress me up but you can't take me anywhere!
The same day, I also went on a long hike at twilight with a friend and her dog and we had to leave the trail as it was getting too dark to see and take the long way around through the residential neighbourhood to get back to the car so that added about 3 km to our hike. I ended that day at over 23,000 steps!
I am trying to get 3-4 weeknight hikes in every week - about an 60-90 min each time. Partly to keep moving but also for my sanity right now with all the craziness in my life. Hiking in the woods is my happy place. I am so fortunate to live so close to the Bruce Trail and the Niagara Escarpment.
Aug 3, 2017
I weighed in a day early because I am away for a few days to meet my new nephew!
This week I really wanted to get back to my 1 lb/week average. Last week I was sitting slightly below it at 0.99/lbs per week. June and July were pretty much a bust and I felt like I was treading water.
I remember, years ago, complaining about how slowly I lost weight and my endocrinologist saying "In one year, 1 lb a week is 52 lbs".
So..that's kind of an unofficial goal I have in my head now for reaching my 1st year milestone on WW which will be my September 15th weigh in. This is the longest I have stuck with WW (or any plan) since I did WW the first time back in 1995. That translates to 7 weeks to lose 5.1 lbs. Let's see what happens!
I had to miss my Monday night meeting because of work this week and this coming Monday is a holiday and the WW centre will be closed so I've been experimenting with other meetings and leaders this week, but I am a creature of habit and really like the Monday night leader (he only does that one meeting). I know that going to the meeting really helps me stay focused, even though I weigh in on Friday or Saturday morning. If I weigh in on Saturday morning then I do stay for that meeting as well but it tends to be overly crowded and a few people dominate the meeting which is not really all that interesting!
I had a lovely day on Sunday at the zoo with my nephew (pictured below) and my sons and got in almost 15,000 steps in just 4 hours! It was very hot though and even with a hat and 60 SPF I still ended up with a sunburn.
I appreciate all your kind comments as I go through this craziness!
I never tire of this walk or the view! I am blessed it's practically on my doorstep.
Jul 28, 2017
Another week where I felt I did everything right but the scale (at home) was still bouncing between 184 and 187. At least it showed a loss today from last week but I am not confident it is a 'real' loss, you know?
There is no option but to keep plodding along and trying to change things up a bit to see if it makes a difference.
Jul 17, 2017
I am really enjoying the Monday night WW meetings and the leader, Jeff. This past week I asked for all my 'bling' to date and they gave it to me. Next will be my 50 lbs charm (I hope!).
I'm fitting into 14s in a regular store now and even can squeeze into 12s (for pants) and Ls for shirts so my arms, although ugly and bat-wingy are shrinking! I'm liking the idea of a weekly progress photo in different clothes so you will have to forgive (or get over!) my vanity! I was lucky to be gifted a lot of clothes through a clothing swap and my youngest son works at a thrift shop where he gets 50% of the "regular" prices so I can easily pick up things for $2-5 a piece. I also shopped some great sales in Buffalo a few weeks ago.
I haven't been under a size 14 since my early 20's so I'm not sure how long I'll be in this stage or if there will be a next stage or what it would even look like if there is. I've been walking every day and started an arm work out with 5lb weights, as well as plank and push ups and a kettlebell work out based on the classes I had taken. I am sure my form is not perfect but I haven't hurt myself and I figure moving is a good thing. I am also going up and down the stairs when I have to show condo units at work, sometimes up to 20 flights.
My motivation has returned since it's mysterious hiatus in June and I feel back in the groove and ready to tackle the world. Usually "life happening" as it has in the last few weeks would derail me and I would start the slow regain.
This time I have committed to myself that I am not regaining these same 50 lbs. One day at a time.
Constant vigilance and never losing sight of what's important.
It really does work.
Jul 15, 2017
I went to a meeting this past Monday at the WW Centre where I weigh in. Monday was the only free night I had this week. It was also the leader's first night, a gentleman named Jeff who had lost 185 lbs with WW. I really liked his style and he was very pumped up. I will check out a few different meetings next week and see which one settles on me as "home". I will continue to weigh in on Friday or Saturday mornings though. This week had highs and lows.
I spent a lot of time with my sister who is here from Dubai for a few months to have her second child in August. She's going through some issues and my heart is breaking for her. It was a very emotional week. There was, and continues to be, a lot of drama at work that made the days feel long and onerous. My son injured himself at work about six weeks ago which caused a hernia that has not healed on it's own and now we are waiting to see a surgeon.
In good news, we have amazing summer weather and I am getting a lot of walking in, especially on my lunches and breaks at work which is helping me with the insanity going on right now. I had a great week following my 'points' and eating well including a meal at a restaurant and one catered meal at work. I am feeling more like I am back in the groove and I can do this. The scale was still bouncing about between 184-187 all week at home but I'm using my WW weigh in as my official one going forward. Although the loss was minimal, I feel like I had a great week!
Jul 6, 2017
Today was my first weigh in at the meeting centre so totally different scale (definitely more accurate!) and fully dressed (in my lightest possible clothes!). It is a mind-f*ck to see a higher number than I am used to seeing but it's all relative. The difference from start to finish would be the same if I started on this scale. After this week it won't matter. I am planning to attend meetings on a week night but weigh in on Friday mornings when the centre opens at 7:30 a.m. I prefer a morning weigh in and I often have meetings on Thursday nights where we have dinner catered. This will help me be more mindful of portions and of the sodium content if I know I am weighing in the next day. Wish me luck!
I was really faltering for a few weeks. There was a 50% off promo for 6 months so it made sense to sign up now. The fee per month is about what I would spend on eating out twice a month (which I rarely do anymore) and this will get me through my hardest parts of the year - Summer/Fall (Thanksgiving and my birthday) and Christmas. My pass expires January 4, 2018 at which time I hope to have decided on a goal weight. I also suspended my YMCA membership until November because I would much rather be hiking and walking outside for the short time we have such nice weather. Cancelling the Y offsets the cost of my WW membership for 6 months so no change to my budget!
My sister is renting a condo with a pool and gym and so I can also use that if I find I am missing the treadmill or stairmill - as if!
Onward and downward :)
Jul 5, 2017
It was extra special because my sister is here from Dubai and is staying with us for a week so she was with us. She is 36 weeks pregnant so the heat outside was a bit overwhelming but she was set up nicely on chaise lounge under an umbrella and my sons were only too happy to keep refilling her glass with lemon and water and bring her whatever her heart (and stomach!) desired. They absolutely adore her. They grew up with her as sort of an older sister as she is 15 years younger than me and they are excited to have another baby cousin. She already has a 2 year old son.
Saturday morning I did a 5k race with another WW friend. When we arrived at the park to pick up our chips there was a long line at the registration desk. They had over 250 people register last minute. This was at a park that was also hosting a big Canada Day celebration all day and was right on the waterfront and with the special-ness of the day and the medals, I think it was reasonable to expect a huge turnout. As walkers, we crossed the finish line at about 58 minutes and found there were no medals left, due to the large late registrations of runners who crossed before us. This has never happened to me at any race before. It was very upsetting because the medals were commemorative for this year and because walkers deserve the same respect as runners. We pay the same fees to enter and for those of us that registered in advance it was a slap in the face to have our medals go to runners who registered last minute. I did email the event organizer as this organizer hosts many of the races I attend all year. She said she is trying to get more medals from the manufacturer as there were just under 100 of us who did not get medals and she was very nice about expressing how they were overwhelmed and unprepared by the last minute registrations and assured me that they have every respect for all participants. I know it's not a big thing, but it was important to me.
We skipped the fireworks this year as we were all over tired and just went home and watched Netflix and were in bed by 9:30 p.m.
We spent all day Sunday at Niagara Outlet Malls (Canada side) where my sister spent lots of money! She had a great time buying all the things that are 1000% more expensive in Dubai. I bought a few things as there were a lot of great sales. On Monday we made the trip across the border to Buffalo and went to Galleria Mall. Not so much shopping, although the sales were also good and the mall was deserted! With a 37% exchange rate right now, the deal has to be amazing! I did find a really awesome pair of brown sandals that I have been looking for / wanting for a few months at a really good price at Macey's so I bought those and picked up a few camisole type tops (to wear under cardigans/blazers) from WalMart. We had lunch at the Olive Garden. I had forgotten how heavy their food is!
I took yesterday (Tuesday) off just to take care of stuff around the apartment and run some personal errands (pedicure/manicure, groceries, laundry - urban domesticity at it's finest!) and am back to work today!
WW Canada has a 50% off deal right now and I think I am going to switch to meetings. I struggled in June to stay on track and am struggling this first week of July. I need to do whatever it takes to not falter.
P.S. The formatting of my blog is all effed up since the background was deleted.
Jun 30, 2017
I did get a new scale which is exactly the same model of my previous one. A friend gave it to me so it's not "new" but it works consistently :) So this is my first real gain since starting in September. I know June was a hard month.
I had a lot of meals out, less exercise and found it hard to stay motivated. Or it could just be a new scale! Either way, doesn't matter - it will all work itself out over the next few weeks and I will not let it discourage or derail me. This is going to be a life long journey of CONSTANT VIGILANCE (Hi Norma!) and a bad week here or there is not going to define that journey.
Many great things happened in June as well. I had my blood work done and everything is normal. Lipids, glucose, kidney/liver function - all well within normal ranges. My resting heart rate has come down from the high 60's to low 50's. I can wear size 14 and size 14 petite in most cases in just about any store. "Skinny" or "slim" styles don't fit cause of my butt and thighs but regular clothes fit and look great.
I've spent a lot of time the last week walking and hiking. Hiking in the woods is my happy place and both calms and excites me. I sleep better and deeper after a hike. I started Couch to 5K again but I am still not convinced I want to be a 'runner', it's just another form of exercise to change things up again and to improve my heart and lung stamina.
I've just posted a few pics below of what made me feel good through June.
Jun 15, 2017
I still cannot shake this cold/sore throat/sinus issue and I am wondering now if it's allergies as it's been over 6 weeks. I will try and get to my doctor next week.
I had an awesome time in Pennsylvania visiting my friends and we ate out every meal...which I knew we would. I started off making great choices, by the fourth day, not so great choices. I ate about a quarter of that giant sundae in the photo below. It was a place that hand churned the ice cream and it was whip cream made from cream from a local dairy and you know what? It tasted fantastic. I am not sure if it's because of those things or because it's been a long time since I ate something like that. But it was a treat and definitely one worth it!
The drive was glorious. Everything was SO green. It reminded me so much of where I used to live in England. I've only ever been in the Fall before.
The gym in the hotel was under renovations (which they failed to tell me when I called on Thursday to confirm they had a treadmill and a bike) - and unfortunately the friends I was visiting are not active at all and I didn't know the neighbourhood or feel safe enough to hit the trails on my own....plus I didn't want to take time away from my visit as they had planned a lot of activities for us.
We saw a local theatre production, went to a bunch of garage sales, saw Wonder Woman and did an Escape Room. In between, we ate! Not even joking a little bit. Despite the food overload, it was a great break from real life.
I weighed myself on Tuesday morning (my first morning back at home) and the scale said 172.6 lbs. I wish I had taken a picture of it! I put in a new battery and it still said 172.6 lbs. Then I moved it to another place (I have tape on the floor so it's always in the same spot) and it said 212 lbs. Now I am sure I gained weight while away. My weight on the Friday morning I left was 182.3 lbs so I know I didn't lose 10lbs and I know for sure I didn't gain 30.....so it's time for a new scale I think. This one has to be at least 10 years old, it was a $19.99 WW scale from Costco.
My clothes fit OK but I don't think I would notice a 3-5 lb gain in my clothes since most of them are fitting pretty loose. That's this weekend's mission - find a new scale. Any suggestions?
I go to the Diabetic Clinic at the end of June so I can check my new scale against the one there. There was always a 2 lb difference between my home scale and the one there. However, I am always fully dressed at the clinic and at home I weigh in naked or just in underwear so I was counting them as pretty much the same.
Jun 8, 2017
Jun 5, 2017
It's not my official weigh in day but this is what I saw on the scale this morning.
This has been a long road. I've not seen this number on the scale since I was 23 years old (to save you the math, that's almost 27 years!).
I've hit 190 many times over the years and maintained 190-195 lbs for several years at a time. But getting below that was always elusive and seemingly impossible.
Seriously a long time to get here. Throw in medical issues, grief, raising a young family, a disabled husband, a career with a lot of travel, and ailing/aging parents and it always felt so hard to do things I needed to do to contribute to a healthier me. Some other challenges along the way; PCOS, hypothryoidism and some other metabolic disorders which means calories in/calories out has never ever worked for me. I know I have to limit all carbs (especially processed though) and also eat pretty much low fat for me to lose at all. It sucks. I'd love to be able to eat 1300-1400 calories of whatever and still lose. But I don't. I know this and have tried to fit into nutritionist's boxes of eating whole grains and fruit and then be so frustrated when I gain weight. So now, I know my body best and the results speak for themselves. And there is still a long road ahead.
Definitely having a great medical team who finally helped me get the PCOS and high insulin under control and find the right level of thyroid meds has a lot to do with it and I think as my body gets healthier, it functions better and the old problems rear their head less and less. Even fibro flare ups are reduced both in severity and frequency as I lose weight.
I have to admit though, that reaching a reasonable goal weight seems achievable now but since this is all new territory, I have no idea what that goal weight might be. My doctor (thankfully!) doesn't believe too much in the BMI scale. According to BMI a normal weight for my height at 5'0" is 97-123 lbs. I weighed 118 lbs when I was 19 and was very, very skinny. At 21 I weighed 130 lbs and wore size 6 in most clothes, some size 8. So at 50 years old, with lots of extra skin tissue and curves, I am not sure what is realistic and since it is still at least 30-40 lbs away I am not going to dwell on it too much. Whatever number I decide, I know maintaining it...well that's a whole other bridge I will have to cross when I get there. I have also learned not to focus on scale oriented results.
I can't control what my body will do on any given day in terms of water retention, hormones etc. but I can control how much activity I do and how much (and more importantly, what) I eat. I try to see weight loss as a by product of those activities rather than the end goal. It's a subtle difference but makes it so much easier for me when the scale doesn't show the result I think should correlate to my effort immediately. It also allows me to take satisfaction and pride in being able to walk 5K faster this week than last week, being able to walk 10k easier than last week, being able to run up a flight of stairs and not be winded, be able to paint my own toenails, have more room in my tiny shower stall, fit into clothes at regular stores....all of these NSV's (non scale victories) are just as validating as the number on the scale that will eventually catch up if I keep doing all the right things.
This is a great podcast about "quitting" that applies to all areas of life, not just weight loss. She also has a whole series on just weight loss that I am going to start listening to while I'm on out walking this week.
Jun 3, 2017
Jun 2, 2017
Not just on the scale but in life in general.
I've been fighting a flu/cold since the first week and I get better for a few days then it hits full force again. The sinus headache and the cough is the worst as they keep me up at night and I am so tired I could sleep standing up at this point!
I think my overall loss for May was 3.7 lbs which is my smallest monthly loss to date. My average weekly loss is 1.25 lbs. It's still a downward trend but it's not great.
I am not sure what to expect next. I haven't been this weight in over 23 years (a longer post about that some other time).
May 30 was my company's AGM and part of the reason for having worked so many long hours in the last few weeks. It was a lovely evening and I wore a very 'out of my comfort zone' dress and I did feel a bit like Cinderella with all the compliments and attention. These are mostly people I had not seen since the last AGM a year ago and some people I work with but only see sporadically. It was a very surreal feeling to have people come over to me and say they didn't recognize me at first. I don't think I look that different. Smaller, yes. And I am sure the dress had a lot to do with it as I normally wear pants / blouses to work and my hair was down - it's usually up during the week or at least pushed back. When I get the photos from the photographer I will post some.
May 31 was Dennis' birthday and me and the boys spent the day together. We had lunch at a burger joint we used to go to as a family and that Den and I were at on it's opening day almost 30 years ago. I guess I haven't been since we lost him because the owner right away asked where he was and why we hadn't been in for so long. I felt bad for him because he felt so terrible when we told him that he gave us free lunch in his memory. It was a nice way to acknowledge his birthday and for me and the boys to have time to reminisce and laugh.
I am busy at work right up until mid - June then things drastically slow down until the end of August and I am so looking forward to the mental break! Funnily enough, I've been assigned a summer student assistant at the time of the year I need the least help! But it will give me a chance to catch up on all those things that never get done.
Next weekend (June 9-12) I am going to Wilkes-Barre PA to visit a high school friend and his wife. I try and go every year but the last time was Fall 2015 so it's been a while. I love road trips! It's about a 7 hour drive with stops and we go through the mountains so it's an absolutely gorgeous drive. I've never made the drive in the summer, only the Fall, so it will be so nice to see the difference of the seasons in the mountains. My friends are lovely lovely people but do not eat at home - EVER. So it will be a weekend of eating out. I am staying at a hotel this time which makes it a bit easier to at least control my breakfast and I can use the gym first thing in the morning. I'm hoping to get at least one long walk in over the weekend as they live near some nice trails and the rest of the time will be at an amusement park, garage sales, shopping, restaurants and sitting on their deck watching the sunset. Although it's a mini-vacation it will be anything but restful....but it will be so much fun.
May 27, 2017
May 24, 2017
Dennis' (my late husband) birthday is next week and I am not sure if that is affecting my general low mood but I am definitely feeling more melancholy, introverted and withdrawn than usual.
I have not been weighing myself in the mornings the last week and half. I've been getting up early and going to work so early that by the time I remember, I am already dressed or eaten breakfast or out the door and tell myself I will do it the next day and then I forget again.
My night time weigh ins are all between 186-189 so I'm not worried at all. My clothes are fitting even looser and people keep telling me I am "tiny". Tiny is an extreme exaggeration! I was able to buy size Large at a regular store last week and size 14 Nine West jeans are actually loose right out of the dryer :)
I am going to set my alarm to remind me to weigh in tomorrow, my regular weigh in day.
I'm trying to keep up with all your blogs though because you all inspire me and I so appreciate the support you give me.