One day at a time

I have five days of tracking and one perfect WW day yesterday with a blue dot.

That is an accomplishment these days.

Now repeat!

And although life is hard - I think it's important to remember these two things because it so much easier to look for excuses than to look within. 

(Stolen from my blogging friend Ann over at CarbTripper.)

And so it goes.

Still here.

Still floundering.

This week I committed to tracking every day, since I haven't been since after the dental surgery in January.  Four for four so far. I have not had a 'perfect' WW day yet but just tracking makes me more mindful and focused.

I am struggling with fibromyalgia pain more this Winter than in the past. Every muscle in my body aches.  I know the inflammation in my jaw is not helping and less than stellar diet is not helping.  I can control one of those things.  Easier to type out than do, it seems.

I am hoping that Winter is on the way out and as the weather improves so will my pain which will lead to better sleep, which will lead to better energy which will lead to being able to go for a walk and being able to do more than just function to get through the day.

I had my endocrinologist appointment last week. I really don't like this Doctor.  My previous endo was awesome. She had a private practice. This endo is part of a clinic at a teaching hospital which means I see a (different) resident each time I go first, who has to recap my entire life's medical history with me (because it's the first and only time they will ever see me!) and then I wait to see the endo. He then comes in for 30 seconds, writes a prescription and leaves. I'm sure he's a brilliant and capable doctor, but I don't feel like he is taking care of me as an individual and I do feel he is dismissive when I ask him questions.

That's a problem for another day.

My weight on the clinic scale was 207.  I know from past experience, that scale is about 3-4 lbs heavier than the WW scale and I am also dressed in different clothes when I go to the clinic versus when I go to WW.  So I'm thinking it's probably 204 which is where I was last time I went to WW in January.  Of course, if I went back I would know for sure. 

Today, everything seems overwhelming.

I do not do well without a clear plan.  I do not do well when I feel like a plan is hopeless.

Tomorrow is a new day :)

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

I can't believe it's March.

I can't believe the last few months have been a whirlwind of craziness - but not in a good way.

Our Christmas was quiet and sad.  With my sister and her children in England, we missed Dennis even more.  It is easy to be distracted when there is a full house, much harder when it's just the three of us.  The boys and I were quite melancholy and reflective. It was not a bad Christmas, just not a very cheerful one.

Since about September I've been having a problem with one of my wisdom teeth. It had a cavity that could not be filled because of the location of the tooth and the side that cavity was on was not reachable with the dental tools.  After some consults, it seemed the best thing to do was to have all four wisdom teeth removed as 2 others had small cavities that would only get worse as time goes on.  I have always had a hard time flossing and brushing my wisdom teeth because they are so far back in my mouth and even the hygienist(s) always say how hard it is. 

So...I set the appointment for January 18 and off I went.  The days following the surgery were not as painful as I thought, I was taking T3 only at night to help me sleep and some anti-inflammatories for the swelling in my face.  By the 4th day it was obvious that although the healing in my mouth was progressing, my right jaw was extremely painful. It was hard to chew, hard to talk, hard to brush my teeth, even the whole side of my face felt like I had a sinus infection - but only that side. It was like an invisible line down the middle of my head.  The inflammation on that side was still evident compared to the left side.  Several doctor's appointments later, it was determined that my jaw had been hyperextended during the surgery and I am waiting for an MRI to determine if the tendons are just inflamed or torn.  As the weeks go by, the pain has settled to a dull ache and if I am careful and do not open my mouth too wide, it's manageable. Sometimes I forget when I am brushing my teeth and that sets off pain that lasts 2-3 days.

I am no longer taking any pain meds or anti-inflammatories so some days my patience is worn thin from the constant pain and my sleep is not great.  All of this contributes to my blood sugar being higher than normal (although this week I am finally seeing "normal" numbers again for the first time since all this started so I'm hopeful that I at least have that under control again.

I have not been to WW since the day before the dental surgery.  My clothes fit ok but I am feeling sluggish and bloated so I am sure there is some weight gain around my middle, especially since my blood sugar has been high for over 7 weeks.

I recently had my other blood work done and my cholesterol numbers were good with my A1C at 8.2, where I try to keep it under 7.  So there is some catch up to do.

Eating - I have not been tracking but have been trying to be mindful. Mindful does not work for me as I tend to forget from day to day what I've eaten and there is no balance as there is when I am tracking religiously.

I have been walking about 30 min every other day but that is also something I need to get back into.

There's a lot of personal stuff going on at home and with extended family as well so I have been distracted and pre-occupied and not focusing on the stuff I need to keep on top of EVERY SINGLE DAY, for weight loss to be consistent and sustainable.

What's next? I have no idea.